President’s Message
The other evening my wife and I were at our next door neighbor’s enjoying food and conversation with their friends and family members. At one point in the evening, picking up on conversations, I realized most of the people were classmates of the husband’s from elementary and high school. From a previous gathering at this neighbor’s house I knew that many of his wife’s closest friends were from her college years. This got me thinking about my closest friends and how and when did these bonds first form. When thinking about this, I’m sure each of us has varied and unique stories about the beginnings of our closest friendships.
While I have a few high school friends that I look forward to seeing at our reunions (45th is this summer, really?), none of them became a truly close friend. I recently read in a magazine a term “4 AM friend” which indicates a close friend – one you can call at 4:00 AM and they’ll get out of bed and come right over. I know many people form life lasting friendships in college, but I didn’t; probably because I went to a local college, lived at home and didn’t experience the brotherhood of dorm life. Many of my 6-7 truly close friendships were formed when we were first starting out in Michigan raising a family in our mid-twenties—a combination of work associates, neighbors and those brought about by the wives’ card group associations. The most recent members came about after we moved to Indiana, 25 years ago, close neighbors and off shoots of the Welcome Wagon dinner club. Since all these friends are now quite a distance away I guess I have to use the term “red eye” friends. If any called, I’d be there within a day—no questions asked—and feel confident they’d react the same way. To be sure, over the years, distance and time have caused a few close friendships to weaken, but gave opportunities for new ones to emerge. Just think about the hundreds or thousands of greetings (let alone missed opportunities) occurring over a lifetime; why did only a few stick and develop into that special relationship that adds so much to our lives? Some count only 1 or 2 as close friends, while others may list over a dozen; personality and a capacity I’ll identify as “social energy” surely come into play.
So at what moment did the these bonds first begin? Maybe that first walk across the street to say hi or making the effort to introduce yourself at a gathering and show true interest in what the other was saying. Regardless, I thank my lucky stars that I made or returned the effort when my friends and my fates crossed paths. So many variables go into a deep, long lasting friendship: similar interests, hobbies, religion, politics, sharing key memories, trust. But none of that can begin or discovered without an initial “hello.”
So where am I going with all this? Maybe some of us will be so lucky that another “truly close friend” is just waiting to be discovered within the confines of the Beaumont-Wilshire neighborhood. And perhaps he or she is only a smile and a “good morning” away. I’m sure most would agree, a few more friendly acquaintances are always welcome.